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FOOLBREEZY/RIGHT WINGNUTS & THE ORANGE CLOWN

    • 1862 posts
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    December 27, 2016 8:20:45 AM PST

    I find it far easier to believe that Santa Claus exists than that Donald Trump will be President.

     

    ANDY BOROWITZ

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    December 29, 2016 6:48:19 PM PST

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    December 30, 2016 6:25:31 PM PST

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    December 30, 2016 9:03:42 PM PST
    They both are very private women. Now your going to bully women? You must be "a Republican".
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    December 31, 2016 10:12:02 AM PST

    Kremlin Names Trump Employee of the Month

     

    "No one has worked more tirelessly for the glory of the Fatherland than Donald Trump,” Vladimir Putin said.

     

     

    ANDY BOROWITZ

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    December 31, 2016 10:23:26 AM PST
    I haven't seen this one yet.
    • 1862 posts
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    January 2, 2017 11:41:15 AM PST

    Trump to Cancel Agreement Between Subjects and Verbs

     

    Andy Borowitz

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    January 3, 2017 8:03:50 AM PST
    Hey troll, it's a good thing this site doesn't restrict the cut and paste use only for verification of facts, if they did you would have any posts. Your post are so pathetic, no originality. With all the hate you possess your life must really be wretched. Why don' you give up this hate and you could start enjoying life.
    • 1862 posts
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    January 3, 2017 12:08:31 PM PST

    • 195 posts
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    January 3, 2017 2:48:40 PM PST
    Yet he is a lot better than having HRC in there. Mr. Trump will not be a "Normal President". He will also, not to have to tell the American people that he heard it when they did "on the nightly news.
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    January 5, 2017 9:08:44 AM PST

    Image may contain: text
    • 362 posts
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    January 5, 2017 9:52:57 AM PST
    Wrong Obama's intelligence team.
    Only 15 more days. Cant wait.
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    January 7, 2017 2:58:09 PM PST

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    January 7, 2017 4:21:30 PM PST
    At least it's still being called the Whitehouse. With Obama and Michael (I mean Michelle; sorry), it's been the rainbow house, if you know what I mean.
    • 195 posts
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    January 7, 2017 9:48:08 PM PST
    quietwolf said:

    The United States of America

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    January 7, 2017 9:55:33 PM PST
    ptdonoho said:

     

    The United States of America

    • 1862 posts
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    January 10, 2017 9:57:32 AM PST

    Jeff Sessions: "I am not a racist."
    Trump: "I am not orange."

     

    ANDY BOROWITZ

    • 195 posts
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    January 11, 2017 9:43:46 AM PST
    The Presidents Oath includes, "will to the best of [their] ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States." "The inaugural oath is specified to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution."
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    January 11, 2017 10:23:10 AM PST
    quietwolf said:

    Jeff Sessions: "I am not a racist."
    Trump: "I am not orange."

     ANDY BOROWITZ


     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    QUIETWOLF said: "I can think for myself."

     

    • 1862 posts
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    January 11, 2017 11:34:12 AM PST

    Even if true, none of this will matter to Trumpanzees, but here is the latest on the Liar-Elect for thinking people here. Trump and PRESIDENT Barack Obama have been briefed on U.S. Intelligence Reports, possibly regarding this information.

     

     

    Per Robert Reich, here's what the Russians have on Trump:

     

    None of the following are not yet substantiated by the FBI or other U.S. intelligence agencies. The information comes from a former British intelligence officer who is considered a competent and reliable source, with extensive experience in Russia. His memos describe:


    1. Several purported meetings during the 2016 presidential campaign between Trump representatives and Russian officials to discuss matters of mutual interest, including the Russian hacking of the Democratic National Committee and of Hillary Clinton’s campaign chairman, John Podesta. [remember Trump said during one of the debates that he hoped Russia would hack our election]

     

    2. Lucrative deals proposed to Trump by Russian officials -- essentially disguised bribes -- designed to win influence over Trump.

     

    3. Sex videos involving prostitutes with Trump in a 2013 visit to a Moscow hotel. The videos were supposedly prepared as “kompromat,” or compromising material, with the possible goal of blackmailing Trump in the future.

     

    Again, none of this is substantiated. Apparently the FBI is investigating them.

     

    ROBERT REICH

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    January 11, 2017 11:42:59 AM PST
    None of the media is reporting either as it is outlandish lies and everyone from Obama on down knows it - except idiot leftists looking for something. Sound like you you, Quietwolf?
    • 631 posts
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    January 12, 2017 6:47:33 AM PST
    Hey troll, why don't you write a book about your life? You could title it, "My Life Living In The Sewer."
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    January 12, 2017 1:51:11 PM PST

    https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p480x480/15965350_10208185610094051_4615672735805008139_n.jpg?oh=5ab59ad2ec8993879cf88d0991075381&oe=591CECA3

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    January 14, 2017 7:33:34 PM PST
    Quietscat, 6 days to inauguration.....pount 'em.....6 days, 6days, 6days, 6days....too cool huh! And eight years of prosperity 8 years, 8years, 8years, 8years!!!!!
    • 1862 posts
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    January 15, 2017 1:08:52 AM PST

    Donald Trump "highly likely" to be impeached within months of becoming President

     

    Likely to face impeachment within 18 months of office, an expert in American politics has warned.

     

    Independent.Co.UK

     

    If there is a God in heaven. Then happy, sane days will be here again.


     

     

     

    The Traitor/Draft Dodger Fascist German Trump will be gone and hopefully land in a Fed Pen with a matching orange suit.

    • 631 posts
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    January 15, 2017 6:52:38 AM PST
    Hey troll, this must be from the your same sources that said Hilary would win in a landslide. You need to climb out of your bunker and find out what is really happening in the world, your sources are wrong.
    • 1862 posts
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    January 16, 2017 6:19:28 PM PST

    Trump Economic Plan Calls For Every American to Inherit Millions from Father

     

     

    "There are millions at my rallies, people desperate for jobs," Trump said. "Once they inherit millions, they will never want a job again."

     

     

    Using an anecdote to show how his economic plan would work, Trump explained, “A man with zero dollars who inherited forty million dollars from his father would become forty million dollars wealthier.”

     

     

    ANDY BOROWITZ

     

    • 195 posts
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    January 16, 2017 8:52:35 PM PST
    Andy Borowitz, the original "fake news"of the 1990's. I'm glad to somebody thinks he's funny.
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    January 17, 2017 7:09:29 AM PST

    And the 37% must have a serious thinking disorder.

     

    https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/l/t1.0-0/s480x480/16105553_1908175276085412_4912701180212668911_n.jpg?oh=d3d5dd805c63381a07d806a5404ccc9f&oe=5907D92A

    • 460 posts
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    January 17, 2017 8:02:58 AM PST
    Of course, that's a media lie, as anyone with more than 10 functioning brain cells can plainly see. If Trump got 70% of the (fairly-counted) votes, how could his approval rating be 37%? Quietfool is an idiot totally off the charts.
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    January 17, 2017 11:33:25 AM PST
    Quietwimp, 3 days 'til d-day. #days count 'em. Don't ya love it! 3 days to Trump, quietwimp, 3 days, 3 days 3 days. Bet you're not sleeping now!! How's the appetite? Drinking a little too much, hitting the pills. Boy, did you lose or WHAT?
    • 1862 posts
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    January 18, 2017 9:20:29 PM PST

    • 631 posts
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    January 19, 2017 7:37:54 AM PST
    Hey troll, if the fake news main stream media would report the truth President Trump wouldn't have any need for twitter, but if that happened you would only have the dumb attempt at humor by Borowitz to read.
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    January 19, 2017 8:59:03 AM PST
    Quietfool 27 hrs, man/woman. 27 hrs to "shut up".
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    January 19, 2017 1:48:48 PM PST
    quietfool, 23+hrs now 23+ hrs now, 23+hrs now!!!
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    January 20, 2017 7:55:56 AM PST
    Twas the Night Before Inauguration

    Twas the night before Inauguration, and up in the tower,
    The Donald reflected on his newfound power.
    The conservative masses had come out in force,
    And delivered a victory that would chart a new course.

    The snowflakes were shell-shocked with tears in their eyes,
    The media lied to them . . . What a surprise.
    They had been promised a Hillary win,
    But the criminal Clinton took one on the chin.

    And though from all corners celebrities flew,
    They made no impression, for they hadn’t a clue.
    They talked about climate, racism, and such, And they made up good stories . . . But didn’t know much.

    The fake news and ignorance came at a cost,
    And they can’t understand all the reasons they lost.
    They blame it on Comey and Bernie and Vlad,
    But fail to acknowledge the one that was bad.

    Yes, Hillary Clinton, in many ways flawed,
    Was her own biggest hurdle toward getting the nod.
    The campaign exposed her corruptness and greed,
    And her speeches were punch-less as ten dollar weed.

    So out in the streets there arose such a clatter,
    It was Soros-paid protestors and Black Lives Matter.
    With cities to pillage and windows to smash,
    They knew not the issues, but needed the cash.

    Eight years of Obama had given them cause,
    To expect a replacement of their Santa Claus.
    But soon the protestors will feel the pain,
    When the wheels fall off of the old gravy train.

    And now all the snowflakes are riddled with fear,
    Upset and offended by things that they’ll hear.
    The cocoa and crayons will help for a while,
    But fact-based opinions will soon cramp their style.

    I originally supported anyone but Cruz,
    In the end I would vote for whoever they choose.
    He may not have been my first choice, but soon I would cede,
    The one they call TRUMP is the one that we NEED!

    I saw him on TV in front of a crowd,
    He spoke about veterans, it made me feel proud.
    He spoke about energy, safety, and jobs,
    Taking this country back from the Washington snobs.

    He was dressed in Armani, all tailored and neat,
    And the Brunos he wore made the outfit complete.
    For a man of his vintage, he seemed rather fit,
    And he looked presidential, I have to admit.

    His eyes glowed like embers, his smile was the best,
    And his hair was the color of my old hunting vest.
    His love for this country was on full display,
    And his actions spoke louder than his words could say.

    He thanked all his voters, and before he was gone,
    Saved thousands of jobs while Obama looked on.
    The fate of this country left nothing to chance,
    So, he filled out his cabinet weeks in advance.

    The men he had chosen were of the same mind,
    Let’s set the bar high, and not lead from behind.
    He picked up his phone as he rose from his seat,
    With a flick of his finger, he sent out this tweet;

    “Now Mattis! Now Kelly! Now Sessions and Pruitt!
    On Perry! On Flynn, You’re the ones who can do it.
    Start lifting restrictions and building the wall,
    Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!!”

    The roar of his audience rose from the stands,
    He kissed all their babies and shook all their hands.
    He answered their questions and calmed all their fears,
    They knew it would be a fantastic four years.

    Then he jumped in his limo, and off to his jet,
    A fellow that Liberals won’t soon forget.
    He sent one more tweet as the evening expired;
    “Happy Inauguration to all,
    AND OBAMA – YOU’RE FIRED!”

    • 1862 posts
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    January 20, 2017 10:09:56 AM PST

    “Congratulations,” the President of Trump University told the new students. “For the next four years, you are all in Trump University.”

     

    ANDY BOROWITZ

     

    Bwaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!

     

    Remember, the Orange Evil One settled for millions to make all those students of his Trump "university" that were suing him go away. How much is he going to pay the U.S. citizens for ruining this great nation? Oh, yeah, he'll just file for bankruptcy and walk away with that sickening, phony smile of his.

     

     

    • 631 posts
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    January 21, 2017 7:30:43 AM PST
    Hey troll, will you ever stop hating. You post that hate is learned, so who taught you, Satan?
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    January 21, 2017 9:22:25 AM PST
    Her parents. She's unhappy so everyone else needs to be unhappy so she doesn't' feel alone.
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    January 21, 2017 11:27:55 AM PST

    https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p480x480/16114562_1395779180515132_4382978054007434920_n.jpg?oh=cd6be654c2eade0c25d1619b642aff3d&oe=59033DAD

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    January 21, 2017 11:03:48 PM PST
    Cute.
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    January 22, 2017 12:22:00 AM PST

    The Women’s March Attendance DEMOLISHED Trump’s Inauguration


    Just a day after Trump’s inauguration, The Women’s March was held in Washington which brought forth a much larger audience than the inauguration did.

     

     

    The city’s public transit service, the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority, recorded about 275,000 trips as of 11 a.m. Saturday, more than the 193,000 it recorded by 11 a.m. Friday ahead of Trump’s inauguration speech and parade. That’s more than an 80,000 people difference.

     

    Taking over DC Metro #WomensMarch! pic.twitter.com/6lUhSpGZyu

    — Maya Wiley (@mayawiley) January 21, 2017

    Capitol South. #WomensMarch #wmata pic.twitter.com/Qq39tsRv5e

    — Martin Di Caro (@MartinDiCaro) January 21, 2017

     

     

    And it’s not just numbers that show it, many also tweeted pictures of the turnout and it’s incredible. The difference in numbers just shows that the majority of America didn’t want Donald Trump as president.

     

    Facts don't lie. Donald The Orange Lunatic Trump does.

     

     

     

     

    Sad.

     

     

    • 195 posts
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    January 22, 2017 12:33:42 PM PST
    How others news reported the Women's March. Outside the U.S. it looks like it was no big deal.

    Trump: Protesters and supporters on their messages to each other

    22 January 2017 Last updated at 05:24 GMT

    Protests took place around the world on the first full day of Donald Trump's presidency.

    In Washington, protesters and supporters told the BBC what messages they would like to give to the other side.
    • 460 posts
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    January 23, 2017 7:54:08 AM PST
    (From a source that can't be named, or AI bots might delete it.)

    NOW WE HAVE IT: UNDENIABLE, TRUMP'S INAUGURATION WAS THE LARGEST IN HISTORY, AND EVEN CNN PROVED IT

    Here it is folks! Prior to Trump, the largest inauguration in history was Reagan, with 41 million viewers. The second largest, up until Trump, was Obama in 2009, with 37 million viewers. On TV, Trump took in 30.9 million viewers, but on CNN ALONE, THEIR LIVE STREAMS, logged 16.5 million viewers. That would put Trump at 47.3 million viewers if you count ONLY CNN's live stream, and there were MANY live streams. In all reality, when all are added, my guess (and it is obviously only a guess) is that Trump topped 70 million viewers. Obviously the rain cut down the inauguration crowd, and the extremely heightened security due to an umbrella gun threat and countless other threats EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT prevented at least 500,000 who tried to enter from entering. There were countless people stuck in line that never got in. Obama faced no such problems because white conservatives are so much less violent than liberals of all colors. Face it, that's a FACT.
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    January 23, 2017 1:06:55 PM PST

    So now the Conservative/Republican crazies and Lunatic Trump are using their own "facts," calling them "alternative facts."

     

    "Alternative facts" are opposite from FACTS and sane people call them A LIE!!!

     

     

    I will defend the U.S. Constitution from all enemies, foreign, Republican and German Trump.

     

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    January 23, 2017 1:21:39 PM PST
    OK. You can calm down now. You need to get it right "I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God."
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    January 24, 2017 7:08:14 AM PST
    Hey troll, the alternative facts are the lies the progressive main stream media and you use like President Trump removed the bust of MLK. Shame, shame on the lying media.

    Troll, did you demonstrate with the filthy talking, lying, nasty, hateful women on Monday. They sounded exactly like you. They were really deplorable.
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    January 24, 2017 4:41:44 PM PST
    And I thought I was deplorable! (altho I knew better). The real deplorables are the left, way out there, and they're not coming back to normalcy anytime soon. It's time to laugh our ass off about the left....there's no end to it. It's the most comedic theatre to ever happen!
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    January 25, 2017 7:19:55 AM PST

    I support Donald J. Trump's call for an investigation of foreigners illegally participating in our election. He's talking about the Russians, right?

     

    ANDY BOROWITZ

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    January 25, 2017 8:11:54 AM PST
    Good god, you still here? Could have sworn you said you were going to Iran if Trump won. What;'s the holdup? Andy got no funds?